https://wt8p.com/tags/nnwm/ Recent content in NNWM on WT8P's Notes to Self Hugo en-us Tue, 21 Nov 2006 06:30:14 +0000 https://wt8p.com/nnwm-unusual-ways-my-character-might-die/ Tue, 21 Nov 2006 06:30:14 +0000 https://wt8p.com/nnwm-unusual-ways-my-character-might-die/ <ul> <li>Drown in a barrel of feral, plastic monkeys <ul> <li>Unnecessarily provoke a “Code Elmo” alert with the Portage Security Association — they’re much like our TSA, but with better accents and 20% more common sense</li> <li>Contract a fatal infection from the paper cut he got while licking the envelope on a strongly-worded letter to the editor</li> <li>Pranksters paint his head like a soccer ball and bury him neck deep in a grassy field frequented by Beckham wannabees.</li> <li>As a commissioned sales representative for an Armour and Weapons Emporium scandalized by cheap, Saxon knock-offs, discovers the fury of knights returning from failed quests because the Rope of Hercules can be tugged apart by a gradeschool student; the Shield of Invulnerability catches fire when the battery used to power the blinking marketing bling lights overheats; or the Sword of Cutting doesn’t, because its blade is <strong>serrated</strong>. <em>(First two ideas courtesy of Kiri.)</em></li> <li>While selling “libido enhancement pills” made from dried amphibian parts and graham crackers, he spams the wrong, ill-tempered Wizard with Email ID.</li> <li>A freak accident with microwave popcorn</li> <li>Didn’t read all eighteen pages of the privacy agreement, consented to being fed to squirrels.</li> <li>Went swimming ten minutes after eating Thanksgiving pizza</li> <li>Ran with scissors, shoes tied together</li> </ul> </li> </ul> <p>What else am I missing?</p>