Intaxication - WT8P's Notes to Self

I usually delete anything with multiple forwards… unless it’s from my friend Steve Leahy. The text claims to be from “The Washington Post’s Style Invitational,” though I couldn’t find this on the www.washingtonpost.com site for proper accreditation.
The premise is to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and then supply a new definition.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with. [Alternate: the theory that you can expand infrastructure, create jobs, and built long-term economic prosperity by going deeper into debt. ]
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you’re eating.
Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole

2 thoughts on “Intaxication”