Tmi

In anticipation of my physical, and partly to assuage fears that the post-big four-oh one would entail uncomfortable things, I sleuthed around for things on what to expect, thinking. Clearly I’ve been watching too many episodes of House. The American Academy of Family Physicians1 has six classifications for their recommendations of common “clinical preventive services:” SR – Strongly recommended: there’s a net gain, it’s cost effective. Vaccines top the list: MMR[4] (despite the anti-vaccination lunacy), tetanus booster, and diptheria/pertussis. Blood pressure is always/easily checked. Since I’m over 35, they want to check lipids (cholesterol and triglycerides). Anticipating this, I fasted prior to the appointment. It’s logistically unfortunate they don’t do the tests and process the results before the doctor visit, because I would like the option of asking what the numbers mean. R – Recommended: moderate benefit or moderate evidence. There were a lot of these. Rather than sifting through the conditionals (e.g., “for women over 65 years of age”), it was easier to consult the male[2]- or female[2]-specific charts. NR – No recommendation: there are only four of these in the 15 page list. The only one I’d heard of was screening for chlamydia in pregnant women over 26 years old. RA – Recommended against. I wasn’t entirely surprised they recommend against taking beta-carotene supplements. However, one that did turn my head was the recommendation against routine screening for testicular cancer[6], especially with the Lance Armstrong awareness campaigns[5]. I – Insufficient evidence to make a recommendation either way. This was one area I was surprised: prostate[7] and skin cancer[8] screening fall into this category. HB – Healthy behavior that’s desirable, but a physician’s advice and counseling might not effective. For example, physical activity is recognized as beneficial. Like the physical I had a few years go, this was easy: ...

[](http://www.basicinstructions.net) Scott Meyer’s [Basic Instructions](http://www.basicinstructions.net/) Elizabeth poses two questions: What would you tell your younger self? It was initially tempting to inventory specific sources of pain and failure and undo those. However, the more I thought about it, the more I believe these were learning experiences that helped me later in life. For example, signing a contract with Bally’s was a costly mistake (especially trying to get out of it in 1990), but I’m more acutely aware of ways salespeople may take creative liberties with reality. I have walked away if the person was overtly lying or seemed shady. ...

1Q 2007: Traveled to: Reno, Trondheim, San Diego. Ride: RACMOD with John, Claire and David. Did the polar bear plunge. Blizzard. Turned forty (my “permanent record” didn’t come back to haunt me, though it occasionally taunts me). Finished knitting my scarf. Pleased that Woodstock has joined and is enjoying 43things. 2Q 2007: Traveled to: Pendleton and Portland. Rides: Century Ride of the Centuries, Wenatchee Apple Century Finally bought a new bike. My KitchenAid broke, was fixed, then was tricked out. Assisted in a science project. Enjoyed an afternoon with Kiri. Met Scout and Jarrett. 3Q 2007: Traveled to: Cincinnati, Cleveland, Houston, Atlanta, Tucson and Phoenix. Rides: RAPSODY, Tour de Whidbey ...

Drown in a barrel of feral, plastic monkeys Unnecessarily provoke a “Code Elmo” alert with the Portage Security Association — they’re much like our TSA, but with better accents and 20% more common sense Contract a fatal infection from the paper cut he got while licking the envelope on a strongly-worded letter to the editor Pranksters paint his head like a soccer ball and bury him neck deep in a grassy field frequented by Beckham wannabees. As a commissioned sales representative for an Armour and Weapons Emporium scandalized by cheap, Saxon knock-offs, discovers the fury of knights returning from failed quests because the Rope of Hercules can be tugged apart by a gradeschool student; the Shield of Invulnerability catches fire when the battery used to power the blinking marketing bling lights overheats; or the Sword of Cutting doesn’t, because its blade is serrated. (First two ideas courtesy of Kiri.) While selling “libido enhancement pills” made from dried amphibian parts and graham crackers, he spams the wrong, ill-tempered Wizard with Email ID. A freak accident with microwave popcorn Didn’t read all eighteen pages of the privacy agreement, consented to being fed to squirrels. Went swimming ten minutes after eating Thanksgiving pizza Ran with scissors, shoes tied together What else am I missing?

I will be participating in — and completing — NaNoWriMo the month after next. This year, I have two themes in mind. With your help, either one could amass enough ideas to blow out 50,000 words. Fairy tales from different perspectives and venues. For example, suppose the “Three Little Pigs” was related by an eyewitness being interviewed by a television field reporter. The story might initially be reported as “an arson,” but as the news evolves, so does the story. Another example would be setting “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” on a reality-based TV show. I’m thinking in the spirit of PBS’ “Frontier House.” Of course, each character will make an appearance in the “confessional” booth. ...

(See my update on this topic.) We have a 529K college savings program set up for my kids through the State of Missouri program administered by TIAA-CREF, soon-to-be Vanguard. Its investment options are turnkey bundles based on age ranges. In the initial years, the investment selection is aggressive. As college-time nears, the portfolio’s mix shifts from stocks to bonds. The program’s return has varied. From 2000 through 2003, it did poorly, like everything else I owned. The last two years have been very strong, negating those losses and then some. Overall, I’d estimate its average return has been about 6.5% over the period we’ve had it. While not bad for a retirment portfolio (especially during that time period), it is less than college tuition. I really need a way to invest into “tuition futures.” ...

What is the game of “Chicken?” In the movies, two hooligans with something to prove settle their differences by racing their cars towards each other. The first one to turn away, averting certain collision, is the “chicken” and loses face among his cohorts. The other player, referred to as the “winner,” gets bragging rights and the fickle heroine. If no one turns — which is a theoretical possibility, but in practice, never happens in the movies (dramatic license and all that) — the game is officially a draw. A rematch is unlikely, but both participants are automatically entered as co-nominees for the Darwin Awards. ...

(for maximum humor value, mouse-over the dashed lines.) Long ago, before the mists of the dot com era wafted down upon the masses, I worked at a company that made bananas. I traveled to a customer site with Tim, the company’s top salesman to observe his crafitness. After we met with the Zookeeper and Primate Custodian, Tim went through the familiar sales spiel, highlighting the importance of bananas: high in potassium, a good source of energy while cycling, and in fashionable yellow. He was about to segue into the specific differentiators our bananas had, when the Zookeeper (the decision maker) asked the question: “Can your bananas be used to kill someone?“ ...

To trim expenses, I consolidated my web and email providers this week. My web provider has been good to work with, but the virtual dedicated server is much more than I need (and can afford) right now. The email provider’s been somewhat disappointing, but the account had been prepaid through Wednesday. While I was waiting for the DNS entries to propagate, I noticed someone had sent a trackback ping to the Soy Ginger Mayo recipe on the old site. Twice. ...